So yeah, continuing on from the last post, things got good, but, as you can probably guess, the day after i got a ‘can we just be friends’ text.
I’ve not had one of those before, and i’ll be honest, it took me a while to work out how i felt about it. On the one hand, i felt we’d connected, and that there was potential there for something more, but on the other hand, it was a pretty great night, and boosted my self confidence no end.
I think one of the problems I have/had ( not sure if it’s past tense quite yet or not ) is that at the time, I was clearly attractive enough to want to sleep with, despite my extra complications, but after the time, i wasn’t attractive enough to be with, because of my complications. It’s a contradiction, of sorts, right down to the fact that it’s also not a contradiction as well. My lovelife has gone all quantum physics on me.
I guess we also have to take into account alcohol, nighttime, ambiance and horniness ( Ugh, I hate that word so much ). It’s a perfect storm, where as soberness, daytime, hangovers and the satisfaction of getting laid after a dry spell are kind of like the perfect calm.
Overall i’m looking at it as a very positive experience, i wanted to have some intimacy ( which was pointed out by one of my friends, apparently i’d said this only a week ago, although maybe a little more crudely ), and I got it. It feels good to know that someone wanted to sleep with me, and wanted to do it enough that they actually well, did.
I think that things are looking up, and that i’m discovering how to have a sex life again. I think that means i’m not as fucked up as i thought i was, I think that means I could just be on to something good.